Category: Wednesday Wordplay
Wednesday Wordplay – Sarah Palin-isms
The principal that expertise on a certain subject can be gained through geographical proximity to it.
In Use: Gov. of Alaska, Sarah Palin, is a proclaimed expert on foreign affairs with Russia due to Alaska`s proximity to Russia and can thus be called the "Sarah Palin Effect"
Quitting when the going gets tough; abandoning the responsibility entrusted to you by your neighbors for book advances and to make money on the lecture circuit.
Wednesday Wordplay – no *dangling* participles!
A Grammar Lesson
On his 74th birthday, a man in Colorado received a gift certificate from his wife.
The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation. The medicine man was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction.
After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to the medicine man, all the time wondering what was to come.
The old medicine man slowly and methodically produced a potion, which he handed to the 74 year-old. Gripping his shoulder, the medicine man warned, "This is powerful medicine and it must be respected. You take only a teaspoonful and then say ’1-2-3′. When you do that, you will become manlier than you have ever been in your life and you will be able to perform as long as you want."
0K – The old man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?"
"Your partner must say ’1-2-3-4,’" the medicine man responded.
"When she does that, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."
The old man was very eager to see if the potion worked, so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom.
When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!" Immediately, he was the manliest of men.
His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes. And then she asked, "What was the 1-2-3 for?"
And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition – or one will end up with a dangling participle!
Wednesday word-play: parking karma and dick inches
Quotes of Note
I have failed many times, and that’s why I am a success.
— Michael Jordan
Art has never been made while thinking of art.
— Niko Stumpo, The Wooster Collective, December 2006
From the Urban Dictionary
Arbitrary (and usually incorrect) units of measurement used mostly by males. Derives from men overestimating their penis size. Dick inches are much shorter than actual inches. Hence a guy can claim to have a 9 inch penis when it is actually closer to 5-6 inches. The term "dick inches" is usually used when over-estimating non-penis measurements.
fellow one: "Finally! There’s a parking spot!"
fellow two: "No way, man…You can’t park within 30 feet of a stop sign."
fellow one: "There’s plenty of room."
fellow two: "Yeah, only if you’re measuring in dick inches."
The uncanny ability to find an open parking space in a desirable location of a busy parking lot.
A person who always under estimates the time necessary to do something or get somewhere. (aside: I definitely do this, especially regarding riding the el)
"Hey, Cindy. you know my parents are expecting us in 20 minutes."
"No problem. I just have to wash the dishes, take a shower, do my hair, walk the dog and then I’m all good to go. See you in 15."
"You are such a chronoptimist! I’ll see you in 45."
Wednesday WordPlay
Quotes of Note
You pile up enough tomorrows and you’ll be left with nothing but a bunch of empty yesterdays. I don’t know about you, but I’d like to make today worth remembering.
— Meredith Willson, The Music Man
It’s the same each time with progress. First they ignore you, then they say you’re mad, then dangerous, then there’s a pause and then you can’t find anyone who disagrees with you.
— Tony Benn
Urban Dictionary
WORD: Facebook Alzheimers
DEFINITION: When you get a Facebook friend’s request from someone that you have no idea where you know them from. The worst part is you have mutual friends from work and school! You post messages on each other’s wall and they never know you have no clue as to how you know them.
WORD: Neighbornet
DEFINITION: What you get when you connect to your neighbor’s wireless (or wired, for that matter) internet, with or without his or her knowledge. (aside: of course I’ve *never* done this. Well, not since my neighbor moved – heehee)
